Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Depression's ugly grasp
I know enough about body chemistry to make me dangerous and that there are chemicals in the brain that help the nerves talk to each other. Too much of a chemical and the brain talks too much, and not enough and the brain has a hard time communicating. Not sure if my brain was making too much or not enough, but whatever was going on, the anti depressants were messing things up.
Yesterday was the first day I felt almost normal. I could smile without feeling like I was a fake. I could do my job with some enthusiasm. I had emailed my doctor on Sunday and said I wanted to stop the meds because there was no way I was going to live like that and now they seem to be leveling themselves out. At least I hope so. One day doesn't mean the world is all better, but at least I have hope.
Saturday and Sunday I forced myself to make this quilt. It is for a fundraiser for the Vacaville Veterans and Ladies Auxiliary who send kids to Girls and Boys' state. My oldest went to Girls' State and had a great time. The ladies do wonderful work with returning wounded soldiers and I've been supporting them for about 6 years now. I hope they raise a lot of money. I just need to put the binding on it today and it will be ready to go.
Who knows, maybe it was the quilting that helped me feel better. I did go fabric shopping on Sunday too because I needed a backing fabric for the quilt. Fabric therapy is cheaper than any other therapy I know.